I know the posts have been a bit far-and-few-between. As you can tell by my posts, this week has been exceptionally challenging for me. As I mentioned the other day, it is actually getting harder to think about all that has transpired than easier. Maybe “easy” is not the right word, but the frequency in which David pops into my mind or bum-rushes me with a tsunami of emotion has increased.
I sitting at roughly 32K feet in the air on my way back from Chicago… really just trying to come up with something to write to try to express how I am feeling right now. I considered trying to tell a story about David, as I tend to do when nothing comes to mind. But nothing really is coming to mind.
The surreal is really all that replays. This can’t possibly be the case. I want to be cliche and say, “This all must be a dream,” but it’s not… when I land, David is buried in CT, and I am tasked with putting all the pieces back together again.
Anyway, I am assuming this is very normal. But I can tell you the constant ache in my heart, and the feeling of “how am I ever going to do __________ without him?” is a record skipping on a small piece of lint, just hopping the same notes over and over again.
It’s like driving through Nebraska when you are going cross country… just the really, really, really long part of the trip, with a lot of the same over and over and over again.
So it’s time to shut down and put this giant soda can of a plane back on the tarmac, and press on.
