1. YOU
2. Random text messages about the dirtiest things
3. Your hiccuping after I make you laugh too hard
4. The disgusting way you eat any food
5. Jamba Juice after the gym
6. The little sayings only you said… Buddy Bud, the Chicken…
7. Ben & Jack’s dinners three times a week
8. Being annoyed when opening a conversation with girls, but in the end, you got the number
9. Chicken Parm
10. Your thievery of all my 90’s hip-hop CDs and constant replay years later
11. Watching you obsess over the smallest details
12. The constant fucking BBM’ng and texting… put the damn phone down!
13. “Tentative” as a reply to calendar requests for things like my wedding
14. Annoying you with my spending habits on experiences and not “things”
15. Jim Carey impersonations
16. Brad Pitt infatuations
17. Watching Fight Club… AGAIN
18. First runs
19. Farting on Greg’s head when you slap him awake
20. Slap fights with everybody
21. Buyer’s Remorse
22. Cooking chicken soup
23. Watching you eat all my cold cuts in one sandwich about ten minutes after I bought groceries
24. Your exceptional taste in fashion
25. Your excruciatingly awful taste in art
26. Forcing you to any of my parties, only to watch you having a good time
27. Super Burgers, Super Turkey Burgers
28. You trying to one up at the gym, me not giving a shit
29. The Dance
30. Knowing the most minute details about the the dumbest things
31. Farting
32. Picking up the phone, knowing you will understand exactly how I am feeling
33. Annoying you intentionally
34. Those quiet moments where everything is shared but nothing was actually said
I can’t wish you a Happy Birthday anymore… because this date is no longer Happy for Me. While I celebrate your life, I am constantly angered, annoyed, disappointed, and generally just saddened by the fact that we will never ever be able to do things together again. It doesn’t get easier—it just becomes more fuzzy and numb of a time past. That pisses me off because there is nothing more that I would rather have than making this list of the 34… hundreds… thousands of things I love about you most and actually doing them.
I acknowledge your birthday, little buddy. But I am anything but Happy about it.
